Articles #Relationships

The last year has been unbearably difficult. We live in a complex reality of security tension, continuous worry, uncertainty, political violence, hope for the return of the abducted, and beside us bereaved families, who are dealing with great pain and loss. What can we do in this reality? How can we (those on the home front) help, even a little, and ease this complex situation in which we live? In the midst of all this difficulty, it is love that connects us, and is what gives us strength to continue. Love strengthens us as a society, as a community and as a people. When we rally to support the bereaved families, when we strengthen the people around us in times of uncertainty, we shower love, which serves as a healing and connecting force.

But is it possible to prevent the quarrel? Is it possible to act like the sun and not like the wind even before the quarrel developed? Is it possible to change habits and turn a freezing wind into a pleasant sun? I believe that this is possible, and so that we can work on it, I will offer several points that can help us in the process.

Usually we tend to pay attention to the big experiences, the ones that feel like the essence of life. But the truth is that life itself is experienced precisely in these small moments. Especially in a year like this, in which we witnessed such deep pain, the small moments are the ones that can help us feel connected to reality, and find moments of peace in the midst of the difficulty.

And they walk together. As a couple. From the days of Ur, the distant Chaldean, to Canaan. A couple who are expecting a child, but believe in togetherness, believe in love.

And this laughter, which at first seemed inappropriate and out of place. And perhaps even a bit of a lack of faith, remained imprinted in the name of the son who bore the good news. It remained in the name of Isaac. And Rabbi Hirsch tells us how essential this "Isaac" is to us in the chain of the Jewish people. How essential it is for us to look to the future that Isaac will smile in the face of years of slavery, persecution and wars. How essential it is for us to look to the faith in the face of the "not one" who stood and stands and will stand over us.

Sometimes it seems that Isaac is a bit missed by us. He does not have the originality of Abraham, the breakthrough, the discovery, the search. And on the other hand, he also does not have the consistency of Jacob. He does not have this drive that grabs his brother's heel and does not let go, he does not have the wanderings, the torment. He simply laughs. He continues on, passes on, sees the world with kind eyes of laughter and joy. And perhaps something in this simplicity allows love to happen, to develop.

How much Abraham believes in his servant. That he lets him take care of the thing that is most precious to him. In his son Isaac. And he trusts him to find the right and complete partnership for him. And how much trust does a servant have in the Lord of the universe, who will bring him together with the right partnership. And how much trust does he have in the young girl who waters him and his sheep, to decide that she is truly the perfect match for Isaac. And how much trust does Rebecca have, who sets out with a foreign messenger to a distant land, in full faith that this is the path that God, the Blessed, has called her to for the exact pairing for her. And how much trust does Isaac have in his father and also in the servant, that the girl they brought to him is truly the one for him. And trust between the couple is truly essential to the success of a partnership over long and good years. But also giving trust to the messengers along the way is a good and important way to succeed in building more and more homes in Israel.

Here, among the ancient stones of the well, one can see a tenderness of movement, a look of compassion. One can glimpse the shepherdess - see how she caresses the little sheep, how she protects them with sparkling eyes of love. The well is more than an expanse of water. It is an expanse of kindness. Of compassion. Of visible humanity. Every movement tells a story - quiet diligence, deep concern, immeasurable caring.

When is the search for love at first sight (like Jacob and Rachel), or perhaps a matchmaking by someone who knows and is aware (like the servant who matches Isaac and Rebecca). Or perhaps even a kind of predetermined pairing, one that we have been walking together since time immemorial (like Abraham and Sarah).

Each of us can recall a smile we smiled, a word we said, or an action we did, and it was interpreted by our partner differently, and sometimes even the opposite, than we planned or thought. Words or actions that were intended for a positive purpose may be received negatively by the other party, depending on the mood, time, feeling, and perspective of our partner at that moment. The context in which we say things, and of course the way we express them, are just as important as what we say.

In our daily lives, we tend to look at different events from one perspective, and this will usually be from the angle that is familiar to us. But for every reality, event, or decision, there are almost always additional perspectives through which we can examine the situation. This knowledge invites us to stop, ask questions, and expand our perspective on reality.

ולכן דווקא השיעור שאנחנו מקבלים ממרים הקטנה, הופך פתאום משמעותי יותר ומלא בנחמה.מרים שמלמדת את אביה ואמה שהדרך לגאולה מתחילה בבית האישי של כל אחד מאיתנו. שבונה זוגיות איתנה, וממשיך להביא ילדים לעולם, למרות העתיד הקשה שמחכה להם.