Articles #double time

LJ Baumer bonfires heralded the start of the wedding season. Even in these days, between the evacuees and the kidnapped and the wounded, life is strong and the people of Israel continue to build more and more houses.

A peak of connection, a peak of holiness, a peak of Shekinah. Both at the wedding and at the Matan Torah holiday.

And maybe sometimes you also need to know how to close your eyes. It's not always easy, but sometimes it's the best thing to do, and it can lead to the most desired result. If we think about the way we see, we can say that when we want to see the present, we must open our eyes. If we want to see a little more clearly, sometimes we narrow our vision a little and squint our eyes.

After the festivities of the wedding subside, the couple enter into a long and lasting relationship, a relationship that should be in easy and challenging moments, in happy and boring moments. In the holy moment of "You are holy", but also in the moment when he again lingers for hours at work. The moment a new baby was born to the family, but also the moment he lay down on the floor in the middle of the mall and screamed his heart out. The moment the whole family goes out to dip in the kibbutz stream, but also on Wednesday, when you have to prepare lunch for three hungry children for the thousandth time. And you have to have the perseverance, to continue being. And the moment it stops, sages prescribe us a fast, to remind us how important it is.

And we really don't have an answer. But we know that the private redemptions of the dear ones we can try to bring about. which is also in our hands. (And as in everything, we make the intercession and pray for Shekinah's assistance).

Coordination of expectations. It sounds simple but for some reason we forget to do it. Usually, we think that the other party thinks like us, feels like us, and expects the same things from the upcoming trip, couple date or family vacation. If we know there are differences of opinion between us, we prefer to avoid coordinating expectations, and prefer to 'flow', which usually turns out to be the wrong decision. Therefore, I strongly recommend before a joint experience to coordinate expectations. To ask each other how he sees the trip, the vacation, the family meeting, etc., what he expects, what he fears, what he thinks will be difficult for him, what he can enjoy, and how I as a partner can help get through it in a good way.

That is why forgiveness is so important. To know that even if for a second we lost the way, and in the course of life we ​​ignored, refused, divided and hurt the one in front of us, we declare together that we are human. that is allowed to be wrong. That it is permissible to lose one's way, yet this togetherness is important to us and we are ready to start over and accept each other.

It is also important to know how to fight. No, we were not confused. Our recommendation for the couple is to occasionally even fight a little. Why fight? Because keeping it in your stomach, holding back, keeping quiet, giving up again and again at the cost of the anger filling up, the stomach exploding in a moment, is usually a recipe for an explosion. Better to talk, share, open up. Yes, also to complain and grumble. And if necessary then also argue and fight. But this is the way to share with your partner what is on your heart, and this is the way to find a more correct path together. A solution that is better for both of you. And why else fight? Because fighting is an important skill. that it is really important to learn it and practice it. that it is important to experiment with it and do it right. In a way that doesn't hurt, doesn't diminish, and doesn't humiliate or punish. And why else fight? Because reconciliation after a quarrel is a great gift. A moment of grace where we can once again breathe together, dream together, rejoice together. And reconciliation after a fight can bring the relationship to new and better places. So the way of sharing, opening up, fighting and then completing and building a higher floor, this is the way to love. #sorry

​So Shira and Yoni (the names are not real) are like that. They met at a demonstration 13 years ago. They both stood and shouted waving their hands enthusiastically, screaming from the bottom of their hearts, when suddenly their mutual shout remained suspended in the air for a moment, their eyes met and half an hour later they were already sitting together for coffee. There they discovered that it's crazy how they didn't meet before. In so many places their lives overlapped. They were in the same tribe in Bnei Akiva, quite close branches in the same district, so how come they didn't meet in any camp? Both graduated together 3 years ago at Ariel University. And both of them have been participating in Tuesday's demonstrations for a long time.